Red Fern Mission : K's Story About How To Love Better

“People have been trying to understand dogs ever since the beginning of time. One never knows what they’ll do. You can read every day where a dog saved the life of a drowning child, or lay down his life for his master. Some people call this loyalty. I don’t. I may be wrong, but I call it love - the deepest kind of love.”

— WILSON RAWLS, WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS

My parents divorced when I was 8 years old. I was the oldest of five children and in many respects, my childhood evaporated that Summer. My experiences growing up with parents that married, divorced, and remarried several times, moving every school year and often being left to care for my four younger brothers were chaotic and at times frightening. The one constant was our dogs. We always had a dog to care for and who loved us unconditionally. Muffin, Petey, Mickey, and Maggie were wonderful listeners. When I couldn’t express my feelings to anyone else I could cry and tell them how sad or upset I was or we could sit in silence and I knew they understood. I remember with a smile how Petey peed on everything that belonged to a particular boyfriend of my mom’s. To the point that if the door to his car was left open he would jump in and go. Five kids and a dog were more than the guy could handle. Looking back I’m sure it was not without merit or undeserved as far as Petey was concerned. He saved us!

“Everyone suffers, even the good Lord suffered when he was on Earth.”

— WILSON RAWLS, WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS

The trauma of my childhood instilled in me a great desire for my own future family to be very different. It also allowed me as I became older to gain empathy and understanding for others. Recognizing that there is so much hurt and anger that so often affects children due to circumstances out of their control. Suffering that can follow you all your life if you let it.

My husband and I over the past 30 years have worked hard to cultivate a loving and safe place for our four amazing kids and the other young people that have found refuge in our home.

Knowing the impact adults made in my life for good and bad I became a volunteer with CASA.

The National CASA/GAL Association for Children supports and promotes court-appointed volunteer advocacy for children and youth who have experienced abuse or neglect and are often in foster care having been removed from one or both of their parents' care. They believe that every child should be given the opportunity to thrive in a safe and loving home.

As a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) volunteer I am appointed by a judge to advocate for an assigned child or children’s best interests. At times it is heartbreaking. Then you have those rewarding moments, the ones that change your life and you hope, the lives of these kids, like what happened with Eli.

I had gone to see 1st grader Eli at school. He is smart, handsome and silly. His new foster mom had cut his hair and he was wearing new clothes. He was excited to see me. We colored and played games together and as with every visit he completely clammed up when I tried to ask questions about his visits with his mom, how he was feeling in his new foster home, if he had spoken to his dad, etc.

Then something miraculous happened. One of the teachers had brought her new puppy to school that day and she let Eli and I hold and play with him. As we stroked and cuddled this little puppy Eli began talking and telling me how he had seen his Mom get stabbed by his Dad, how he misses them but really likes where he is living. We talked about his behavior at school and why it’s not okay to yell and scream at his classmates.

After many visits this was the visit where we had a breakthrough. This breakthrough allowed me to gain trust and truly advocate for this little boy and his baby brother going forward. It wasn’t due to anything I did. It was because of a dog! Petting and playing with the little ball of fluff had allowed Eli to let down walls and to be free with his thoughts and feelings.

I could not kick the thought, “What if all my visits were accompanied by an unconditionally loving dog? What if I had a CASA dog?” I felt like Billy Colman in Where the Red Fern Grows. I was obsessed with how I was going to get a dog and what would be the best kind of dog to get. I spent a year researching the best breeds and breeders. I was right on the verge of giving up because financially it seemed unattainable, it was then I found Stokeshire Designer Doodles and the Red Fern Mission. I found hope that just maybe this is a wish that could really come true!

“Papa, I asked, how can you help a wish?

Oh, there are a lot of ways, Papa said. Hard work, faith, patience, and determination. I think prayer and really believing in your wish can help more than anything else. ”

— WILSON RAWLS, WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS

I find personal reward in helping and serving these kiddos. It allows for my own pain to have purpose. Despite motives and best efforts at times it just isn’t enough though. From my own experiences and from what I witnessed with Eli a dog can impact the soul. I would love nothing more than to have a Doodle as my partner in this cause. Teaching me how to love better and together change lives one CASA kid at a time!

“It’s a shame that people all over the world can’t have that kind of love in their hearts, he said. …. “It would be the kind of world that God wants us to have - a wonderful world.”

— WILSON RAWL, WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS